“How did
you end up on Pluto,” Patrizo asks me staring out the window.
“Just
passing through.”
“Nobody
just passes through,” his voice has taken a more aggressive tone. “Pluto is the
last stop for the worst of humanity that can’t get out of Sol.”
“I don’t
know what you’re talking about, but GPS says we’re almost at your house.”
“The old
man, Johan wasn’t just taking pictures of nature like he says. He was taking
pictures of kids too. Yeah, the company went under but when they sold all the
old equipment and he left some stuff behind, sick stuff. Moved to Pluto because
nobody would hire him,” I’m not sure why he’s telling me this.
“Maybe you
shouldn’t drink so much, you’ve got a wild imagination.”
“No, I’ve
got facts. Tell me what you did, or I’ll find out,” he smiles at me almost as
if it were a threat.
“Nothing at
all.”
“Beatrix,
she didn’t actually do anything bad. Her mom, she did something. She got
arrested for fraud at a major corporation on Mars. But hey, white collar crime
doesn’t count unless they want you dead.”
“Why are
you telling me all of this?”
“Because I
want to know your dirty little secret. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me
yours.”
“You want
to know my secret?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m tired,
that’s it.”
“Bullshit,”
he snorts and laugh but still maintains a threatening aura. “How about I tell
you mine? I used to be a detective and a good one. That’s why I know you have a
secret, that’s why I know everyone else’s. I could have made it to the top, but
I had two problems. The first is vagina, and it didn’t even have to be human.
Actually, the stranger, the better. Sometimes they don’t even call it a vagina,”
he licked his lips.
“I don’t
really want to hear this.”
“But I need
to tell you, so listen,” he leans his head against the window. “So, vagina, or
women, got me caught up. One of my main things, and if you saw her, you’d know
why she was a main thing. She had everything in all the right places, beautiful
face and everything. Damn I miss her,” he starts to lick his teeth reminiscing.
“Anyway, she gets beat up on. No problem, I’m going to handle it. I get the
warrants and they bring in and Enka, a dirty fucking Enka,” I can guess where
this is going. “I rough him up a little. Clip his wings, they’ll heal. Nothing
too bad, not even the worst I had done. It was on principal, just to make a
point. But some rookie turns me in,” Patrizo finally drifts off and stares out
the window.
I knew he
gave me a bad feeling when I met him. He always seemed nice enough, but there
was just something about him that bothered me. Knowing he was a police officer
that failed to take his job as seriously and uphold the law just falls into
place. I don’t know enough about Johan to say if Patrizo was lying. I’d be
surprised, but I wasn’t looking for signs either. He might just be messing with
me, but I don’t doubt him either. He’s right about nobody willingly coming to
Pluto. History says it was almost colonized on several occasions using
prisoners and soldiers as test groups. On the fourth try, they finally got it
right and nobody froze to death. I’m only here because I decided to run away
from military service and I’m ashamed of that. Still, I have a strange sense of
pride knowing I’m not exactly exiled.
The car
beeps as we arrive outside a small tenement. Similar to the one I lived in, but
smaller, everything on Pluto seems smaller. It just hammers home the idea that
nobody should be here, it isn’t like we colonized every planet in the solar
system, or even tried. Pluto was just essential for seeing more of the system;
if we can make it to Pluto we could make anywhere.
“Come on
in,” Patrizo almost falls out the car.
“I’m just
going to head back to where I’m staying.”
“Not with
my car. C’mon, I don’t have a lot of friends. Be nice to have someone sleeping
on the couch besides me.”
I’m
convinced Patrizo just wants me here so he can make it up the stairs without
killing himself. We make it to his apartment and he fumbles with the key fob,
missing the scanner before dropping it. Bending down to pick it up he almost
slams his head into the wall before I can grab him. My thoughts head to guesses
of just how much he had to drink.
“Are you
drunk again,” a woman with brown hair wearing a bathrobe greets us at the door.
“Hey babe.
This is Efrem. We got drunk together,” he points to me.
“Nice to
meet you, I didn’t drink with him. I just brought him home,” I felt the need to
clear myself.
“Don’t be
afraid of her, the bark is worse than the bite,” Patrizo smiles and walks past
her.
“I think I’ll
leave.”
“Don’t, you
can sleep on the couch. There’s already a pillow and blanket, because that’s
where he was going to be sleeping,” she welcomes me in.
“I didn’t
catch your name.”
“I’m Kirsi,
thank you for taking care of the child I thought was my husband. Bathroom is to
the left, kitchen is to the right. There’s water in the fridge,” she waves and
follows Patrizo to the bedroom.
“Thank you,
goodnight.”
I close my
eyes on the couch, try to get some sleep, but it doesn’t come. Instead thoughts
dance around in my head. Would war have been better than Pluto? How much longer
until I can leave? How much of what Patrizo said is true? Is Pluto just a
planet full of rejects?
Despite the
ruckus when we arrived, I hear them in the next room. My envy of Patrizo
doesn’t help me sleep. I used to have dreams of getting married to that one
person I fell in in love with. We’d raise kids, maybe have a small house on
some calm planet I’d never been to before. I might do training for soldiers for
income, but I’d be done fighting. Then one day, I stopped having those dreams.
I stopped believing anyone could love me, or that I’d be able to care for
children. I think the biggest problem is I love too hard. It sounds crazy
saying that about myself, almost as if I’m breaking into homes to watch people
sleep. I just don’t believe I’ll ever find one true love that I’ll want to be
with forever. Sometimes I’ve thought I found the one, I wake up one day and the
love is gone. Other times, I’m madly in love, but the other person just doesn’t
feel the same. At some point, I started to feel love was painful and chasing it
was no good. I felt free, and didn’t care anymore. Here I am approaching
thirty, and now that I’ve seen Patrizo with someone who loves him that freedom
is no longer there.
Did I waste
my life in the military? Would love have been easier to find had I not been
fighting and fucking my way through the galaxy the other half of the time? The
fact that I’m getting jealous of Patrizo is enough to let me know I want off
this planet.
